Welcome December, Please Be Kind!

I woke up this morning to my baby girl yelling...  "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... there is SNOW!  Like real SNOW!  Look its on the grass, and the car, and the roof-es!"  Then my son comes flying in the room, socks sliding across the hardwood floor, practically ripping my curtains off the wall just to get a real look.  "Just in time for our real countdown til Santa, its December!!!"  All of the excitement has prompted my gigantic black lab to jump on my bed too.  Within two minutes, I went from being sound asleep to having both kids and my 100 pound dog jumping on my bed and on me!

Its December!  I love December!  I always have.  But in recent years, December has also meant chaos and stress and life changes!  Both of my kids have birthday's in December.  One before Christmas and one after.  Last year, my sweet little niece came into the world in December as well.  I try to get all of my shopping done before December even comes so that I don't have to worry about that.  I try to pick a few traditions and stick with them. I set high expectations for myself and for my family.  I try to prepare for our "prefect" Christmas.  The ones my kids will treasure and remember for the rest of their lives!

Last year, I went through all the preparations, made all the plans, and spent days decorating our home.  Then on December 17th, my perfect family Christmas came crashing down.  My husband had been sick for a few days, but on that Wednesday morning, he woke up in severe pain!  I had a house full of kids that I was babysitting and we only had one car.  I made him drive himself to the hospital.  Then I didn't hear from him for HOURS!  It was long and torturous. When I finally got the phone call from him, it was what I expected.  He had pneumonia.  I thought they would give him some antibiotics and send him back home.  They decided to keep him overnight.

His mom and sister went to see him first, b/c I had the kids, but I just wanted to get there!  To be with my husband.  My strong, reliable, brave husband that keeps us all safe and happy was stuck in a hospital bed.  I finally got there and spent a few hours with him, kissed him goodnight, and thought I would be picking him up the next day.

Well that was not the case.  His pneumonia kept getting worse everyday.  The doctors were telling us stories about people that were healthy people, strong young men like my husband, that were getting sick like this after the H1N1 virus.  Some of them recovered well, others were sick for months or worse.  I had never  been so scared in my life!

Our goal then, was just to get him home for Christmas with the kids.  On December 23rd, we had to come to terms with the fact that that was not going to happen.  He cried.  He hadn't cried in front of me in 10 years!  But he was so sick and tired and sad for our kids. The kids spent Christmas break with my parents.  They were spoiled rotten by Nana and Pop Pop and still had a good Christmas.

Sick 2009

My husband however, had to have surgery on Christmas Eve to remove fluid that was built up around his lung.  He spent Christmas in the ICU!  I went to my parents to spend Christmas day with our kids, and my in-laws spent their Christmas day in the ICU.  It sucked! 

 God's Gift 2010

Our story has a happy ending. Although we missed Christmas last year, my husband was home before the new year.  He recovered well and is pretty much back to normal except for two small scars on his side and some scar tissue in his lung that only effects him when he is exerting himself. 


I took our Christmas decorations down last year with sadness. I did not wrap each ornament with the care and love that I normally do. We didn't get to celebrate together and I was still pissed!  So this year as I pull out the boxes, I am definitely having  some anxiety.  I have to keep reminding myself that the chances of repeating last year are slim to none.  We are going to be fine!  I am trying to use the lessons I am learning now, about living in the moment and choosing our thoughts, to get through these memories that keep coming up!

I keep trying to remember the lessons we learned last year too.  That Christmas isn't about just decorations and presents.  Its about having the people we love with us!  I welcome this December with reservations and fear of the unknown!  But also with hopes that this is going to be our best Christmas yet.  We will now appreciate every moment that we have to celebrate together as a family!