Here's the deal. I have been trying to lose weight for at least 15 years. But after years of yo-yo dieting, I have never been successful at losing weight and keeping it off. I lose twenty to thirty pounds and then gain ten... then gain ten more, twenty more, then lose a few only start the gaining process all over again. This used to make me feel like an absolute failure!!
About a year ago I had a shift in my thinking about the failure part. Each time I lost weight, I was trying some specific diet and learning about what my body reacts positively to, and what it doesn't. If I continue to view myself as a failure, then I am afraid to "start" again b/c I don't want to fail again.
So, I have shifted my thinking to that of a journey. The past 15 years have been a journey… a journey to understand what it will take to reach my goal of a healthier me. So with each "failure" I have learned more about what to take with me on this journey and what to leave behind! I have not failed, because I have not given up and I am still trying to reach my goal. While on this journey I have graduated high school, graduated from college, fell in love and got married, lost loved ones, made friends, ended friendships, became a mother, battled depression, anxiety and thyroid disorders, etc.
Bottom line is that I have changed… I have grown into the woman that I am today. On this journey I have talked to doctors, paid to be in weight loss programs, bought dozens of books, ate one food for weeks on end, fasted and binged. I have studied and researched and learned about the best ways to lose weight, about what foods are best and what foods to avoid… About support systems, about journaling and reflecting, about prayer, meditation, and hypnotism, calorie counting, about cutting out all things “unhealthy”, and about eating everything in moderation. I seriously feel like I have armed myself with all of the knowledge I need to be a weight loss expert…. SO???? WHY am I still heavy? …. That is exactly what I hope to figure out on this journey and this year to a healthier me!!!!
I am going to continue on this journey, taking all of the things I have learned about weight loss (and about myself) in my past attempts to become healthy, and make it my job to focus on those things everyday. I am joining a recovery program b/c I have come to terms with the fact that I am a food addict, and that is what has stopped me from succeeding to this point. I am going to focus on God, the people who love me unconditionally, and all of the things I have to live for… So here we go! Bring on day three!
About a year ago I had a shift in my thinking about the failure part. Each time I lost weight, I was trying some specific diet and learning about what my body reacts positively to, and what it doesn't. If I continue to view myself as a failure, then I am afraid to "start" again b/c I don't want to fail again.
So, I have shifted my thinking to that of a journey. The past 15 years have been a journey… a journey to understand what it will take to reach my goal of a healthier me. So with each "failure" I have learned more about what to take with me on this journey and what to leave behind! I have not failed, because I have not given up and I am still trying to reach my goal. While on this journey I have graduated high school, graduated from college, fell in love and got married, lost loved ones, made friends, ended friendships, became a mother, battled depression, anxiety and thyroid disorders, etc.
Bottom line is that I have changed… I have grown into the woman that I am today. On this journey I have talked to doctors, paid to be in weight loss programs, bought dozens of books, ate one food for weeks on end, fasted and binged. I have studied and researched and learned about the best ways to lose weight, about what foods are best and what foods to avoid… About support systems, about journaling and reflecting, about prayer, meditation, and hypnotism, calorie counting, about cutting out all things “unhealthy”, and about eating everything in moderation. I seriously feel like I have armed myself with all of the knowledge I need to be a weight loss expert…. SO???? WHY am I still heavy? …. That is exactly what I hope to figure out on this journey and this year to a healthier me!!!!
I am going to continue on this journey, taking all of the things I have learned about weight loss (and about myself) in my past attempts to become healthy, and make it my job to focus on those things everyday. I am joining a recovery program b/c I have come to terms with the fact that I am a food addict, and that is what has stopped me from succeeding to this point. I am going to focus on God, the people who love me unconditionally, and all of the things I have to live for… So here we go! Bring on day three!
life is a journey, not a destination.
ReplyDeleteI am doing it "one day at a time" too!
I am behind you 100% - you deserve to love yourelf as much as we all love you!