Amazing Mommy

I have two little sisters.  Both have been my everything at times and both have made me crazy too.  But I wouldn't trade them for anything!  We have very different relationships.  My "baby" sister is 7 1/2 years younger than me.  I've been in love with her since the day she was born.  Now as adults, we are able to be friends too, but because of the age difference, that friendship part took time.

My other sister, is only 2 years younger than me.  She has been my best friend, my enemy, my confidant, and my partner in crime for as long as I can remember.  For 5 1/2 years it was just the two of us.  We shared a bedroom for the first 10 years of our lives.  We would lay in bed, her on the bottom bunk beneath me, and giggle and talk and play for hours some nights when we were supposed to be sleeping.  We spent days, seasons, years, in the make-believe world of our backyard.   One day we would hate each other and the next we would spend hours together making up dances to the words of cheesy 80's songs and sharing our wildest dreams with each other.  


We have always been very different people.  She is confident, strong and fearless.  She is more of the "wild" one. She loved make-up and dresses, but was also a rough and tumble tom-boy fighting with the older boys in the neighborhood.  I was a figure skater, she was a soccer goalie. I was afraid of boys,  she would corner them in pre-school and kiss them on the head.  I cry 20 times a day, she doesn't "do" emotion.  We have gone years without having much in common.

But now we have a common bond.  A bond that I never thought we would share.  We are both mothers.  She was told a few years ago that she would not be able to have a baby.  I told her then, that I would carry a baby for her if she wanted me to.  She told me to shut up, she was not even thinking of having a baby at that point so there was no reason to have that discussion.

My sister spent a few years in her early twenties struggling to find her way in this crazy ass world, as we all do at that time in our lives.  Then a few years ago, she found a great job, something she is really good at.  She met a guy that is completely in love with her!  She was in a good, happy, stable place!  A place that I was so glad she had found! So when I got a frantic phone call from her one year and 8 months ago,  I couldn't imagine what was wrong.  The voice on the other end of the line said "um, I think I'm pregnant!"

I kicked into reassuring mode, completely sure she was over-reacting. After-all she didn't think she could have a baby at all!!  We waited days, weeks even, for the first appointment with the doctor.  She. Was. Preggo!  Holy COW!  There was fear and excitement at the same time.   She doubted her ability to be a good mother.  I never doubted her ability to be a good mother.  I doubted how she would handle the stress of it.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom, it was all I ever wanted!  New mommy-hood stressed me out completely!  It kicked my ass!  My sister does NOT wake up when she is sleeping.  I tell her she hibernates.  How was she going to do the middle of the night stuff?!?  I knew that she was not alone. I knew she had her guy to help her. My family and I would love both of them enough to pick up any slack!  But it turns out, that I am an idiot...  there was no slack!    She IS AMAZING!  A wonderful, caring, INCREDIBLE MOMMY! 

So what does this story about my sister have to do with this journey of mine?  It is one of the best examples in recent years of my lack of trust in God.  There is a bigger plan.  HOW could I not trust that she was pregnant for a reason?  How could I be selfish and stupid enough to not be able to see what this little life would mean to all of our lives!?!   I spent so much wasted time worried about how it would all work out instead of trusting and believing in something bigger than myself.   When I look at that sweet face, I am reminded how small we ALL are... How God has a plan. 

My niece was born one year ago today.  Motherhood has a way of bringing out the best of us and the worst of us.  But for my sister, motherhood has only brought out the BEST in her.  I can't even put into words how proud I am when I see how amazing she is...  how naturally it came to her.  The bond that she has with that sweet angelic baby girl  is stronger than anything I have ever seen...  It is TRUE LOVE!

Happy Birthday baby girl!