Can I Be a Hermit?

I have been doing so well with this eating plan!  I have not had many cravings and have not had to eat many snacks between meals.  I have not had anything to eat after dinner.  I have been feeling good.  I’ve been drinking a ton of water and hot tea.  Not one sugary or diet drink since I started this.  Only putting healthy food in our house has been the key.  The kids are already sick of it.  My seven year old even went to the neighbor’s house with some change and offered to buy a snack from her!!!  Its not that I am starving them, I have a ton of fruit and other snacks, goldfish, animal crackers, pretzels, etc.  But both of my kids know the goodies are next door… like kool aid, cookies and candy!  But I have never stocked up on that stuff.  I really worry about them having these same issues some day.

ANYWAYS… things have been even easier than I anticipated.  That is until I need to participate in the outside world.  My addiction to fast food is worse than I thought.  It’s not even that I want the food.  But I get in the car and I realize how much of a habit it is, and how easy it is to make excuses about being out and too busy to eat anything else!  Wow, how messed up? 

Since being a hermit isn’t exactly a healthy option or solution, (although I seriously considered it), I guess I better figure out how to break this habit.  I read something this week about being aware of the addiction, accepting that this is my new lifestyle, and taking action to make better decisions.  I feel like I was able to do that. 

Today I went to the zoo with my daughter’s preschool class.  We walked the whole zoo and I was never winded, tired, or cranky!  I packed a healthy snack, ate it, and was satisfied.  As I walked to the car, I was so proud of myself.  I was so happy about the way I was feeling.  My daughter, however, was tired and cranky.  She threw a temper tantrum about her car seat and then I got stressed.  I got in the car, turned the key, and automatically thought, I need a double cheeseburger!

I started having a conversation with the voice in my head.  The voice had pretty much convinced me that it was ok to go get the cheeseburger.  It came up with all kinds of ideas about how ‘every once in a while is fine’… ‘nobody is perfect all the time’ … ‘just this once time’ … ‘nobody even has to know’!!!  UGH!  That last one was the one that snapped me out of it.  If I have to hide it, than it is WRONG!  So I reached into my bag and ate the apple that was left.   Then I called my husband and told him about the conversation I had just had with myself. 

After he told me I might be crazy... he encouraged me and talked me back to the reality of all this.  Back to that awareness place where I was able to accept that I can’t do that any more and then take the appropriate action (not pulling into a drive-thru)!  Now I just have to keep that awareness thing going, or I will do that every time I leave the house.  Hmmmm… maybe being a hermit isn’t a bad idea!?!?