Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Scariest Halloween of My Life




When I was seven, my parents had a big “grown-up” Halloween party.  Although we weren’t around for the party itself, we were around for the decorating and preparations.  My dad made a guillotine!  Complete with decapitated bloody head.  It was hidden in a corner of our basement and the idea was that people would literally fall into this room and then be face to face with the “dead head!” 

I was terrified of the dead head! I hated it! I do not like to be scared. To this day I detest scary movies and haunted houses.  I blame the dead head!  After trick or treating that Halloween, we were going through our candy, as excited as could be about all of the treats we had brought home.  My dad thought it would be really funny to put the dead head on his own head and sneak up behind us!  He crept up behind me and yelled BOO!   My little seven year old self almost had a heart attack!

For three years following that particular Halloween, I had nightmares several nights a week involving the dead head.  I could not go to the bathroom by myself in elementary school b/c I envisioned the dead head rolling under the stall. I was constantly scared that I was being haunted by the dead head.  It was one of those parenting moments that my dad laughs about and the reason that some people (like me) need therapy.  HaHaHa.  

This years Halloween rivals the dead head Halloween!  This is the scariest Halloween yet!  I have been junk food and sugar free for 31 days.  It has been a lot easier than I thought it would be!  The reason it has been easier is that I have had nothing “bad” in my house, and have prepared ahead of time for situations that I knew would be tempting. But tonight was trick or treating for our community! My safe environment is far from safe right now!!!!  But I feel strong.  I am not grieving the food they way I have in past attempts at losing weight.  I recognize that it is because this time I am admitting that I have an addiction. In the past i would attempt to have just a piece or two of candy.  That has never worked.

If I lived through years of being haunted by a dead head, surely I can make it through a few weeks without eating ANY candy… RIGHT???? 

1 comment:

  1. You can do this!!! I am so proud of you! I can't wait to see you and hug you and tell you - to your beautiful face - just how strong I think you are - what you are doing is amazing - and wonderful - you make it look easy but I KNOW it is not!!!!

    LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU - stay strong!!!!!!!

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