Ok, so, as I have said, I had a great childhood! Although I learned my overeating behaviors as a child, I still had a wonderful childhood. We pretty much had a happy care-free existence. I realize now, as a mother myself, that my parents worked really hard to allow us that kind of life! I still get excited to go home. Like if I go there, the peace that I had as a kid will fill me up!! Unfortunately reality hits me within a few minutes of walking in the door. My kids get crazy and normal grown-up life continues.
This weekend we are planning a trip to Bethel Park, our hometown. Although we only live an hour and a half away, it is still nice to go and spend the night and be together. But this time I am nervous. Along with the warm fuzzies, I also have some reservations. NO matter what diet I have been on, I always seem to “lose it” at my parent’s house. Like the rules don’t apply there and I have permission to eat however I want. I get into my ‘comfort zone’ and want my old habits to be there with me!
I CANNOT do that this time! I know that there are plans to order some of our favorite comfort food. I am armed with different tools this time and I know that one day of going back to old habits is not worth blowing 19 days of abstinence! However, that rational thought tends to go right out the window when I am in front of a Danny’s Hoagie and Trax Farms candy apples!!!
At least I know that my husband will support me. In fact, he reassured me 20 days ago, that if I am doing this differently this time, so is he. He is no longer going to let me make excuses in his presence. I am not aloud to rationalize overeating. He said no matter how many times I give him puppy dog eyes, or how many tears I cry, he’s going to be tougher on me. He was afraid in the past to say no to me. But all of that has changed this time too!!!
I do love that my parent’s house feels like home. It’s more like home than my own house is. I love the fall!!!! This time of year brings back amazing memories of home. It also prepares us for the holiday season and all of the family gatherings that will take place. I love the warm fuzzies I get just thinking about it.
Too bad my expectations for a peaceful, wonderful, and magical holiday season are normally too high. It’s usually filled with stress. This year, I hope to focus on what matters most and enjoy family!!! If I can change these patterns of overeating when I am with my family, then it CAN be more peaceful! I know that for sure!
I will update tomorrow night to see how it goes! I hope to JUST ENJOY time with family. I hope to not worry about making everyone happy. I hope not to get over-emotional about anything. I hope to change old habits and start new ones! I plan on NOT overeating. My comfort zone may be a little uncomfortable this weekend, but I will never change if I don’t make the changes within myself!
Now I only have to clean the house, finish the laundry, pack the car, feed the kids and cats, and get the kids and dog into the new car without trashing it on this rainy day!! If I can do all that in the next hour, surely I can go 24 hours without overeating… RIGHT?
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