I am already noticing some changes, but most days I still can't find one shoe, or my car keys, or my MAC card... well Jason's MAC card because I lost my whole wallet months ago and still have not gotten my own card again! When I lost my wallet I went to get a new drivers license only to find out that apparently it had expired... FOUR YEARS AGO :) But I had been carrying my change of address one for two and a half years and it wasn't expired yet, which I thought was sufficient. The state of Pennsylvania didn't agree. 
I misplace things constantly. "I JUST had it, what the hell did I do with it?" are words that come out of my mouth several times a day! My house is "clean." Beds are made most days, dishes are done and floors are swept several times a day. To walk in my house, you wouldn't think it was bad. But there should be signs on all the closet doors and drawers that read, "Open at your own risk as opening this my cause bodily harm!" I try to give everything a place, and that works for some things, but then I have a crazy chaotic day or week or month and it all goes to shit!
I HATE losing things! It makes me so angry... angry at myself. My kids see me flip out when we go to leave and things are "missing." My husband is afraid to ask me for my keys because nine times out of ten it leads to the appearance of psycho, screaming, self-hating me. Saturday night my husband was running to the store and wanted to take the car since his truck was covered in snow. He asked where the keys were, I answered in my purse. He looked in my purse and left a few minutes later. Sunday morning in church, I put my hand in my coat pocket and felt my keys. I showed them to my husband and said, "I thought you took the car last night?" His response, "they weren't in your purse and it wasn't worth pissing you off!" That is sad. He is one smart man, but that is sad!
Anyways, I am feeling the need to organize today! I wanted to get an earlier start, but the first real snow and two-hour delay put a damper on that! I am going to try to make sense of some of the big chaotic messes. It started last night when I went to put some clothes away in my sons closet and I wasn't sure what was clean, dirty, too small, or too big... so I made my husband put all of it in laundry baskets (4 of them to be exact), and now I need to put it all back :( It seemed like a good idea at the time!One thing that I don't mind "losing" however is weight! Today was my day to weigh myself and I was 270 pounds! I didn't think I lost anything this week. But that nice round number made me happy because it also means that I have lost forty pounds since the end of September!
In my recovery group, people talk about not losing weight, but releasing it. Letting go of the excess baggage that the pounds represent. Letting go of the addiction and the other things we have been holding onto. I like this notion of "releasing" the weight instead of losing it because I don't want to find those forty pound ever again. I certainly will NOT be looking for those forty pounds any time soon... As opposed to the stupid car keys!!! Ok, now I am off to attempt to lose forty pounds of clutter in the next few hours! Wish me luck!
You go girl . Awesome job on the weight loss! 40 pounds girl is such an accomplishment. I am very very proud of you. Oh and good luck with the organizing of the house. When youre done you can come over my house next. lol j/k
ReplyDeleteI LOVE it!! I love the idea of releasing it - you have such an active role in the release - just ungrip your hands and let go, right? You can do this!! we both can!!
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you and your 40lbs - that is awesome!! I love your beautiful blog and I feel you on the quest for organization
what I do promise is this...someday - when our kids are grown - we'll scrapbook and drink tea and KNOW for certain EXACTLY where everything is...but those days won't be nearly as fun:)
LOVE YOU!!!
HI KATHLEEN!!!
40 pounds...yipeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angela
ReplyDeleteMegara, I am so impressed. KEEP RELEASING!!!
ReplyDeleteMy closets are scary too!! And I don't sweep nearly as often!!40 lbs is incredible. keep it up. What are some of the food choice changes you are making for your family and yourself? MAybe we could share some of our favorite healthy things????
ReplyDeleteThanks EVERYONE for the love!!! Oh and a funny follow-up-- to this blog! While cleaning a closet, I found my wallet in the pocket of last years winter coat!!! I looked for it for 3 months before giving up and canceling all my cards and stuff!!
ReplyDelete@ERIN, can't wait for the scrap booking date 20 years from now... but you're right, then we'll just be sad that these days are gone! Thanks for the reminder :)
@Erika, I have tried to ease my kids into the food changes so that I wouldn't have too many temper tantrums:) But I have tried to cut out as much SUGAR as possible and avoid processed stuff. I do whole wheat pasta and brown rice. We eat a lot more fish, and no red meat. I keeping hearing that organic meat is the way to go, but haven't done that. Do you do the organic thing?
As far as recipes, I have a cookbook written by Jessica Seinfeld called Deceptively Delicious. Its all about sneaking vegetable purees into everything. The food is good, the kids love it and are getting a ton more veggies. I notice that they are actually full and stay that way longer after eating those meals. I like to cook, so I now try to keep up with the pureed veggies and sneak them into my own recipes as well! Let me know some of the things you do!